The History of Deinstitutionalisation of the Mentally Ill in America

　
Deinstitutionalisation is the process of replacing long-stay psychiatric hospitals with less isolated community living mental health services with mentally ill or developmentally challenged patients Deinstitutionalisation is aimed at reducing the population size of mental institutions shortening the length of stays, and reducing both admissions and readmission
Deinstitutionalisation is the practice of transferring homeless, involuntarily hospitalized mental patients from state mental hospitals into different kinds of psychiatric institutions funded by the federal government The plan is striving to combat mental illness in the United State.
In many cases, the mass deinstitutionalisation of the mentally ill from the 1960s onwards has translated into a mass release of patients into the community. Individuals who previously would have been in mental institutions are no longer supervised by health care workers.
The 19th century saw a large expansion in the number and size of asylums Although initially were thought to be moral and humane confinement they became o non-therapeutic, isolated in location, and neglected in the care require
By the beginning of the 20th century, the admissions had resulted in serious overcrowding. inadquate funding especially during periods of economic decline, and war, many patients starved to death. Asylums became institutions with poor living conditions, lack of hygiene, overcrowding, ill-treatment, and abusive
The first community-based alternatives started in the 1920s and 1930s, asylum numbers continued to increase up to the 1950s deinstitutionalisation began strongly in various countries in the 1950s and 1960s.
Public outrage helped expose the poor conditions and treatment. Sociologists argued that these institutions created dependency, passivity, exclusion and disability and caused people to be instistutionalized much like prison
Community services were thought to be cheaper and new psychiatric medications made it more feasible to release people into the communit
Community services began with supported housing with full or partial supervision within the public community Costs have been said to be lower in some ca
Although deinstitutionalisation has been positive for the majority of patients for some it has severe repurcussions
Hopes that ommunity care would lead to fuller social integration are not achieved; many remain without work, have limited social contacts and often live in sheltered environments.
Community services are often unable to meet complex needs. Services in the community sometimes isolate the mentally ill where clients meet each other but have little contact with the rest of the community. Instead of community living reforms established an Open air Institution
Often there is insufficient preparation or support. A greater proportion of people with mental disorders became homeless or are imprisoned Homelessness has increased in some states in the USA Families can often play a crucial role in the care of those who would be placed in long-term treatment centers; however, many mentally ill people are resistant to such help because of the mental condition The majority of those who would be under continuous care in long-stay psychiatric hospitals are paranoid and delusional to the point that they refuse help and do not believe they need it, which makes it difficult to treat them.
Moves to community living and services leads to various concerns and fears, from both the individuals themselves and other members of the community
In every category of crime, including rape/sexual assault, other violent assaults, and personal and property theft the incident rates have increased The rates are similar in those with developmental disabilities
The unfounded idea that people with mental disorders released into the community are more likely to be dangerous and violent, a large study indicated that they were no more likely to commit violence than those in the neighborhoods usually economically deprived and high in substance abuse and crime where they are typically placed in
Findings on violence committed by those with mental disorders in the community have been inconsistent a higher rate of the most serious offenses such as homicide has sometimes been found but, despite high-profile homicide cases, the evidence suggests this has not increased ofdeinstitutionalisatio Aggression and violence that does occur is usually within the families
Deinstitutionalisation began in the USA IN 1950s and targeted people with mental illness. 15 years after individuals who had been diagnosed with a developmental disability were being placed in the community Although these movement began over 50 years ago, deinstitutionalisation continues today
The social forces that have led to a move for deinstitutionalisationpublic opinion of those with mental disabilities, and state's desire to reduce facilities for the mentally ill
Public awareness of the conditions of mental institutions began to increase during World War II Following WWII, articles and exposes about the mental hospital conditions would bombard popular and scholarly magazines and periodicals. These findings led to increased knowledge that mental illness was moderately prevalent. More importantly, people began to realize that cost that would be associated with more individuals being admitted to mental institutions (i
This time period was the beginning in the change of public and congressional attitudes toward the mentally ill. Since many individuals suffering from mental illness had served in the military, many began to think that more knowledge about mental illness and better services could benefit the men that served as well as the nation as a whole. that would be essential in developing the mental health field.
During the 1950s many new drugs became available and incorporated into therapy for the mentally ill. These new drugs were effective in reducing severe symptoms, which would allow people with mental illnesses to live in communities Drug therapy not onlyt depopulated the mental institutions, but it also opened opportunities for employment of the mentally
In general, professionals, civil rights leaders, and humanitarians saw deinstitutional confinement to local care as the appropriate approach.The Movement started off slowly but when it adopted the philosophy of the Civil Rights Movement It took off During the 1960s, deinstitutionalisation decreased dramatically as the average length of stay decreased by more than half. Instead of placing people with mental illnesses in long term institutions, many began to be placed in community care facilities where they could get care for their mental health needs. The deinstitutionalisation that took place in the United States was a transition from a mental institution to a more community centered facility
As hospitalisation costs increased due to improvements advocated by civic groups, both the federal and state governments desired to find less expensive alternatives to hospitalisation With the government on the side of deinstitutionalisation, getting legislation passed proved less difficult
Observers of the homeless issue also saw a change related to deinstitutionalisation Studies from the late 1980s indicated that one-third to one-half of homeless people had severe psychiatric disorders, often occurring with substance abuse
　
While the original idea of deinstitutionalization as it was in the beginning as a more humane way of living for the mentally ill There are still flaws which continue to make Community Living an alternative that needs to be restructuted to the individual eeds of each person with a mental disorder
Grouping and labeling of people continues to be a form of predjudice which still thrives with the stigma of Mental Illness

THE CHANGES OF MEDICAL TREATMENT IN BIPOLARS SINCE 1950 IN AMERICA

　
　
Bipolar affective disorder has been a mystery since the 16th century. History has shown that this affliction can appear in almost anyone. Even the great painter Vincent Van Gogh is believed to have had bipolar disorder. It is clear that in our society many people live with bipolar disorder; however, despite the abundance of people suffering from it, we are still waiting for explanations for the causes and cure. The one fact of which we do know is that bipolar disorder severely disables its ones ability to obtain and maintain social and occupational success.
Affective disorders are characterized by symptoms that can be broken into manic and depressive episodes. The depressive episodes are characterized by intense feelings of sadness and despair that can become feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. Some of the symptoms of a depressive episode include disturbances in sleep and appetite, psycomoter retardation, loss of energy, feelings of worthlessness, guilt, difficulty thinking, indecision, and recurrent thoughts of death and suicide The manic episodes are characterized by elevated or irritable mood, increased energy, decreased need for sleep, poor judgment and insight, and often reckless or irresponsible behavior Bipolar affective disorder affects approximately three million people in the United States. It occurs in both males and females. Bipolar disorder involves episodes of mania and depression. These episodes may alternate with profound depressions with persistant sadness, almost inability to move, hopelessness, and disturbances in appetite, sleep, in concentration
Bipolar disorder is diagnosed if an episode of mania occurs whether depression has been diagnosed or not Most commonly, individuals with manic episodes experience a period of depression. Symptoms include elated, expansive, or irritable mood, hyperactivity, pressure of speech, flight of ideas, inflated self esteem, decreased need for sleep, distractibility, and excessive involvement in reckless activities (H.
Bipolar disorder can create substantial developmental delays, marital and family disruptions, occupational setbacks, and financial disasters. This devastating disease causes loss of jobs and millions of dollars in cost to society. Many times bipolar patients report that the depressions are longer and increase in frequency as the individual ages. Many times bipolar states and psychotic states are misdiagnosed as schizophrenia. Speech patterns help distinguish between the two disorders
The onset of Bipolar disorder usually occurs between the ages of 20 and 30 years of age, with a second peak in the mid-forties for women. A typical bipolar patient may experience eight to ten episodes in their lifetime. However, those who have rapid cycling may experience more episodes of mania and depression that succeed each other without a period of remission
The three stages of mania begin with hypomania, in which patients report that they are energetic, extroverted and assertive Doctors believe that the hypomania stateshows that bipolar patients are «addicted» to their mania. Hypomania progresses into mania and the transition is marked by loss of judgment Often, euphoric grandiose characteristics are displayed, and paranoid or irritable characteristics progress The third stage of mania is evident when the patient experiences delusions with often paranoid themes. Speech is generally rapid and hyperactive behavior manifests sometimes associated with violence
When both manic and depressive symptoms occur at the same time it is called a mixed episode. Because there is a combination of hopelessness, agitation, and anxiety that makes them feel like they «could jump out of their skin they are a higher risk patients. Patients report feeling dysphoric, depressed, and unhappy; yet, they exhibit the energy associated with mania. Rapid cycling mania is another of the bipolar disorder. Mania may be present with four or more distinct episodes within a 12 month period This form of the disease exhibits more episodes of mania and depression than bipolar.
Lithium has been the primary treatment of bipolar disorder since its introduction in the 1960’s. It is main function is to stabilize the cycling characteristic of bipolar disorder. The overall response rate for bipolar subjects treated with Lithium was is more than 3/4 of patients Lithium is also the primary drug used for long – term maintenance of bipolar disorder. In a majority of bipolar patients, it lessens the duration, frequency, and severity of the episodes of both mania and depression.
Unfortunately,the other 1/4 of bipolar patients are either unresponsive to lithium or can not tolerate the side effects. Some of the side effects include thirst, weight gain, nausea, diarrhea, and edema. Patients who are unresponsive to lithium treatment are often those who experience dysphoric mania, mixed states, or rapid cycling bipolar disorder.
One of the problems associated with lithium is the fact the long-term lithium treatment has been associated with decreased thyroid functioning in patients with bipolar disorder. Another problem associated with the use of lithium is experienced by pregnant women. Its use during pregnancy has been associated with birth defects
There are other effective treatments for bipolar disorder that are used in cases where the patients cannot tolerate lithium or have been unresponsive to it in the past. The next line of treatment to be Anticonvulsant drugs such as valproate and carbamazepine. These drugs are useful as antimanic agents, especially in those patients with mixed states. Both of these medications can be used in combination with lithium or in combination with each other. Valproate is especially helpful for patients who are lithium noncompliant, experience rapid-cycling, or have alcohol or drug abuse.
Neuroleptics such as haloperidol or chlorpromazine have also been used to help stabilize manic patients who are highly agitated or psychotic. Use of these drugs is often necessary because the response to them are rapid, but there are risks involved in their use. Because of the often severe side effects, Benzodiazepines are often used in their place. Benzodiazepines can achieve the same results as Neuroleptics for most patients in terms of rapid control of agitation and excitement, without the severe side effects.
Antidepressants such as fluovamine and amitriptyline have also been used by some doctors as treatment for bipolar disorder. A study showed that fluvoxamine and amitriptyline are highly effect Conflicting research shows that antidepressants can actually precipitate manic episodes. Most doctors can see the usefulness of antidepressants when used in conjunction with mood stabilizing medications such as lithium.
In addition to the mentioned medical treatments of bipolar disorder, there are several other options available to bipolar patients, most of which are used in conjunction with medicine. One such treatment is light therapy. . Bipolar patients in one study showed a improvement in their depressive symptoms, with no incidence of mania or hypomania. They all continued to use light therapy, and all showed a sustained positive response Hypomanic symptoms were experienced by some of bipolar patients in this study. Predominant hypomanic symptoms included racing thoughts, deceased sleep and irritability. it is evident from this study that light treatment may be associated with the symptoms. Careful professional monitoring during light treatment is necessary, even for those without a history of major mood disorders.
Another treatment for bipolar disorder is electro-convulsive shock therapy. ECT is the preferred treatment for severely manic pregnant patients and patients who are homicidal, psychotic, catatonic, medically compromised, or severely suicidal. In one study, researchers found marked improvement in patients treated with ECT, compared to patients treated only with lithium and of patients who received neither, ECT or lithium
A final type of therapy is outpatient group psychotherapy. The value of support groups influenced mental health professionals to take a more serious look at group therapy for the bipolar population.
Research shows that group participation may help increase lithium compliance, decrease denial regarding the illness, and increase awareness of both external and internal stress factors leading to manic and depressive episodes. Group therapy for patients with bipolar disorders responds to the need for support and reinforcement of medication management, and the need for education and support for the interpersonal difficulties that arise .

Bipolar Disorder and Minorities

Bipolar Disorder and Minorities

Every person regardless of race should seek help if they have a mental health problem or
symptoms of a mental disorder.

A large number of Inner city young people have seen someone shot or stabbed. Exposure to community violence, as victim or witness, leaves immediate and long-term effects on mental health, especially for youthAn Ethnic View of Mental Illness
Mental health issues facing four ethnic groups, including African Americans, American Indians and Alaskan Natives, Asians and Pacific Islanders, and Hispanic Americans They all face a social and economic environment of inequality that takes its toll on mental health.
If these people happen to be poor a lack of access to treatment mistrust of the system, stigma, communication difficulties, and stereotyping.
African Americans and Latinos felt their healthcare provider treated them badly because of race or economic background as opposed to whites.
In some Asian cultures, mental illness is thought to reflect badly on family and diminishes marriage and economic prospects for other members.
African Americans are overdiagnosed for schizophrenia and underdiagnosed for bipolar disorder
African Americans and Asians in general are slow metabolizers of certain antipsychotics and antidepressents Physicians unaware of this may prescribe doses that are too high, resulting in severe side effects and unwilliness to continue in treatment
American Indians and Native Alaskans do not have a doctor or clinic that can provide regular or preventive health care.
Many Southeast Asian refugees are at grave risk as a result of the traumas they experienced for Vietnamese for Cambodians for Laotians losing a lot of their population in war.
Mexican immigrants had lower prevalence rates for depression and other disorders than Mexican Americans born in the US.
Hispanics
In California latinos will outnumber whites. this "minority" will be in a majority with whites Strong family attachments, supportive community networks, and deep spiritual/religious convictions. of those with severe mental illness Those who responded to treatment were latinos and African-Americans living with their families, as opposed to whites
interventions targeted to specific cultural groups were more effective than non-targeted interventions and that those conducted in a client's native language were more effective as those conducted in English.In addition, Dr Barrio pointed out, families from third-world nations tend to manifest lower "expressed emotions," such as hostilities. Acceptance and warmth in Mexican-American families, for instance, predict better outcomes from schizophrenia.
American Indians
American Indians/Alaskan natives now reside in urban areas. Indians are moving to the cities for the same reasons the rest of us do - jobs and education.
Indian life expectancy, is less than non-natives, a Where the death rates are significantly lower among older men than their counterparts among other races), diabetes higher unintentional injuries homicide and suicide very high in the young population but lower in elders than the general population
Elders in the Indian had their culture as forced boarding schools banned spiritual practices and loss of land Barriers to mental health include differences in cultural beliefs about mental illness cultural labeling of different emotions lack of mental health professionals in the system lack of large scale studies and lack of cultural orientation for providers such as in the healing traditions Rarely do elders seek out available mental health services.
Asians and Pacific Islands
among other things Asian elders are confronted by a difference between how Asians and Americans view the elderly The family matriariac may find herself a stranger in a strange land even within her own family especially if dealing with Americanized children and grandchildren.
Asian Americans whose families experience a high interpersonal conflict have a greater risk of attempting suicide compared to the general Asian population. T even among those who never had a history of depression the strength of family values in Asian communities Family harmonyis a value coming from Confucianist and Taoist beliefs
Since depression is often caused by problems in life clients need help regaining a sense of control and thereby improve their mood people who are engaged in social activities have less depression than those not engaged.
African Americans
It is said that a majority of African American children are raised in poverty. African Americans earn lower than the median income They are more likely than whites to pay out of pocket, and their treatment is more likely to be terminated quickly.
But they end up in the hospital more and are more likely to be treated with old generation antipschotics Doctors tend to misinterpret cultural traits as psychotic features such as speech idioms while underdiagnosing for bipolar and depression. Some African Americans distrust the mental health system and do not seek out help
Ironically, black people are experiencing higher rates of depression and suicide at a time when they are entering the middle class in increasing numbers. Young blacks also account for a large part of all homicide deaths in America in what can be described as a form of suicide
Although great strength allowed black people to survive slavery and discrimination but the idea that black men and women can easily handle burdens that would psychologically crush other people has been overated
Poverty
When depression hits someone in the middle class it's relatively easy to recognize. You are doing your everyday business then suddenly you begin feeling bad all the time and when you crash you attract the attention of your friends, coworkers, and family.
For the poor it just goes with the territory most people just take it as just a part of life for the have nots

Most of the Heads of households receiving Aid to Families with Dependent Children are clinical depressed and pregnant welfare mothers are in the same condition.

Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder

Buck up Oh it cant be that bad Your in a good mood today Be quiet for a minute You paid what for that But you just got paid
What have you been smoking Phrases that I love to hate How to tell if you are a Bipolar Have you heard these phrases excessively Think about it

SYMPTOMS BIPOLAR DISORDER

MANIA
The symptoms of Bipolar Mania include

Period of elevated expansive or irritable mood Other symptoms include Beliefs of possessing exaggerated power importance
knowledge or ability Decreased need for sleep More talkative than usual pressure to keep talking
Rapidly changing unrelated or racing thoughts Easily distracted
Driven behavior at work at school or sexually agitation Risky behavior
Excessive spending foolish business investments

DEPRESSION

Symptoms of Bipolar Depression Include

Occurring nearly every day Depressed mood most of the day
feeling sad or empty tearful Significant loss of interest or pleasure in activities that used to e enjoyable Significant weight loss when not dietingor weight gain decrease or increase in appetite
Difficulty in sleeping or sleeping too much Agitation or slowing down of thoughts and reduction of physical movements
Fatigue or loss of energy Feelings of worthlessness
or inappropriate guilt Poor concentration or having
difficulty making decisions
Thinking about death or suicide

Most people have felt some of these symptoms at least once in their life and it is normal But if they persist or are becoming more frequently Then
they can be words you Love to Hate


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Medications

The dangers of being Bipolar can be medication There are certain drugs that are used to treat Bipolar Disorder They range from simple antipsychotics and antidepressents to drugs that are used for their side effects such as mood altering and sedating

One of the popular and famous medication is a simple natural product called Lithium It is a natual salt but the has dangerous side effects when used without the addition of simple table salt When on this medication the blood levels can become too high in your body without using extra table salt

When the blood level of Lithium is too high the symptoms range from a simple tremor in the extremeties hands legs to convultions and vomiting excessivly Left unchecked death can occur It is the drug of choice for Bipolar Disorder Other drugs called antisiezure medications are used when Lithium can not be tolorated or in some cases it does not work one of them called Lamictal There are dangerous side effects with Lamicatal and medications like it one is a severe rash which can also result in death or complicated side effects Your equilibrium can beso badly affecte that you have difficulty with you coordination there is the possibillity of falling becoming extremely clumsy

With medications like these there is a chance of diabeties and a tremendous weight gain Most people on these medications experience weight gain up to 100 lbs which leads to physical problems due to medications

The side effects of these medications are often worse than the disorder itself it may seem Sleeplessness is treated with medications like Klonipin it can cause restlessness suicida lthoughts and actions and panic attacks

The medication side effects are sometimes worse than the disorder itself

Why I llove to hate the the medications in common use for Bipolar Disorder Is the cure worth the risks in taking medication For some people it is so they go off of medication and have to be hospitilized The lesser of two evils sometimes

Unstable

Mania has no boundaries no limitations when all is lost there can only be the top Coming down can be harsh and feels like a thrusting power pushing you deeper into your depression to the depths of the pain into the Hell your mind creates

Feel it in your sould the rythmic beat of a drum Your mind dancing with thoughts start out in blues as the tempo pulsates you heart throbs with the messages from your brain

The beat of the drums causes a frenzy The music is in you and you have become the beating drum The lyics of thoughts echo and the clashing cymbals your mind vibrates You know extasy Living for the rhythm the rhythm coexisting in you and when your dance is over there is nothing but down

Practicality what a splendid word What does it say to me when I rise When would you expect me to be spendthrift generous thrifty for the moment I can not or even care to say Why excessivness Why do we throw money around when the credit cards are our best friends I can rejoice when there is an abundance and cry at the times of plenty

From the joy of spending there is the passion of saving Wonderful words Numbers to see on paper When when whe will this occur Can I hope for more

Brainchild talents used to such a degree as to be called a zealot does not matter when all that there is the matter with me is nothing but what is the matter with me

Thinking feeling lack of sympathy lack of control will bring me back to my happy point th most important thing of all is joy always joy in sadness only for the ones who cannot feel it

I swm blessed with my mania but for some reason I am cursed with my lows Is there an answer for me for others An emphativ yes yes yes but do they forget the feelings do they lack the ability to remember and stay on the worn pah of stability or do they choose to fall bewildered and sadly happily

I do not know Pumping iron my creativity flys on the wings of furute moodswings the exuberence the vigerous enjoymen t of my life as I know it and have since birth

What is the point of all life is showing me a good time

Flight of Ideas

My minds power to feel pain when none is present cause violent emotions in my physical self Exhausted my own brain cringes at the thought of having nother thought

Rejoicing in solitary thinking which is silent talking causes hallucinations Silent thinking is a defense mechanisim for Pressure of speech Pressure of speech is when a Bipolar in a manic episode is unable to control their speech and experiences constant talking In severe cases can be mistaken for gibberish

Anything in my mind trys to be unknown even to those who can understand them We live in thoughts not breaths The life given to us by our own body chemistry Understanding comes difficult when we do not know what or where they come from deep seeded memories of episodes past when we know that the past is always the future present

We use the power of our minds conceiving ideas and expanding on these thoughts until we have flight of ideas This is what it is called when we build a thought on a thought

Flight of ideas is a expounding thoughts on thoughts like a author writing an story based on one subject and building a story from one idea embellishing the one idea into a paragraph into a chapter into a book Like rumors passed from word of mouth until it is unrecognized from what was originally said

Flight of ideas can bring about a higher high so that the manic episode can become worse until it may reach delerium which is a state of pure thought

Experiences

Experiences

Moodswings are a gift from God Although for us Satans playtoy

We can live our lives with memories like you or the delusions and hallucinations Delusions of grandeur although difficult for the layman to see are sacred to experience They are a rollercoaster neverending or appears to be that Eventually comes the crash and with it the knowledge of what it is to lose billions of dollars

You say this can not be yet there are realistic beliefs of being rich or a belief of being given the cure for all illnesses with the sacrafice of yourself Horrorific visions or beautiful angels appear and for a time there are revealing statements coming from them

The endless conversations I have had with the voices my mind has created In a lonely world pf hospitsalizations I had my friends Sometimes the only ones I knew

Hospitalizations what experiences are seen behind closed doors the restraints physical and chemical and emotional strait jackets of every kind whether for the to limit movement of your arms to the canvas sheets where only your facial expressions and voice are shown to the walls of other patients and staff

As a client there are many things that are forbidden but sometimes there are the favorites who receive gifts and encouragement for acceptable behavior Like a child Children we are with the capabilities of being what we are and can be Sane or insane

How We Are Perceived

How We Are Perceived

The empathetic ability in dealing with a mental disorder is lacking in most people Why do we Love to Hate The conviction that we are totally mad an incapable of being a person who instead of having the cognizant and comprehending the needs feelings problems and views of others

It is almost that a particular ability to be articulate can communicate and even talk to you in a civilized way So many brilliant actors singers and poets are my brothers and sisters Think perhaps that one of your ancestors was or is one of my own Would you consider them one of the rejected in society

Reflect on this and you reproches would turn to oh so proud so equal with me An insane person complex yet blessed and cursed with a diordered brain Will one of your children be a special child of God and know what it is feels like to have the Joy
That is in sitting in the right arm of Jesus

Complex disordered do you even dare to think that at one time in your life you have not felt what we feel The sadness the death of a loved one the exctasy at your childs wedding or an innocent birth The pain and rapture of natural child birth

Oh we know no matter that there is no such event we can conceive yet there is no active stimulus We can fly we can grovel in the mud yet there is no reason why we should not or is there

We wear foolscaps of compassion and discernment but often our fervor for life turns imagination clouded with the atmosphere of delusional thinking Our so wonderous minds are distorted and we are thrown into an episode

We misuse the powers of our minds conceiving ideas neglecting the soundness and balance within to the point of impairing the capacity to function normally and safely but we are human so we make mistakes Can you blame us

Depression

Depression

Today I feel a distance from everyone Again Why do I Love to Hate

Again I want to run into a mind like mine Someone who can understand whit it is like to feel the way that I do Sometimes I just want to sit down and cry
Sometimes I feel that all I can do is cry Being able to cry is something that is all that I am capable of doing Being unable to cry is a lonely feeling whicch fills up your sole existence for the time you are depressed

Hope is placed on the holding shelf I must find a way out of my occupancy in my mind I must adapt to the changes in my moodswings Thinking of this and determining a plan is complicated Myemotions govern my thoughts My thoughts are restricted and it seems nothing brought forth is in anyway like a decision Not even in the smallest way



When it lifts When you finally can weep there is such a release that you can once again feel your blood rush to you broken heart The heart is healed from all that was contained inside of you Ecletic contemplation shows some benefits although all that is required is an awarness A sensibility a sane mind to contend with the depression



But now I am writing and sharing and for the first time writing in order to share with you


Maybe a thought that was always there Wasted days and years What has brought this on A lot of encourgement from some very special people at a homeless shelter

Mania

Mania

Mania what an unusal thing Why do I love to hate it
I can not even explain it The doctors do not even know what it feels like
My mother died in 1999 shortly after my Grandmother died a few years before both my Father and my Stepgrandfather died When all of this occured I was already on disability for years due to my Bipolar disorder

I remember my mothers death a prime example of emotions reversed In all of the grief I had taken care of my mother after a cancer operation I remember clearly but will never know the reason why I experienced a severe manic episode and went on an intense employment search Twenty interviews were arranged and I managed to go to all and was told by the interviewers that I presented myself very welll and was a fine candidate for the position but as suddenly as it came I crashed into a deep depression I failed to take any positions or even follow through and call to tell them I could not take the job

I deflated like a pricked balloon

This is such a sad sad illness to cauase so much destruction to your emotional state and in this example your guilt is something you have to live with everyday I grieve still and will probably never forget but I have almost forgiven myself for something that I can never explain or understand


Please do not pity me I did the best that I could do I realize that now and I know deep in my soul that she never blamed me

I talk to her now and have learned or am trying to seek advice from her still
Small accomplishment are not easy but are always a beginning

Actually 10 yrs ago I could never had said that another accomplishment late but always will stay with me

Love to Hate

　
LOVE TO HATE
Love to hate my highs hate to love my depressions I am an unstable Bipolar A Bipolar is a mental illness called that because of the two drastic differences in moods Moods are the basic overall feelings people have but in Bipolar Mental illness it is exagerated to a point of psychotic thinking
In bipolar disorder our feelings which are governed by chemicals in the brain that control impulses through nerve endings These impules are either too rapidly or too slowly and these cause feelings of happiness and depression
These feelings can be so drastic that you can have suicidal thoughts and actions or so drastically happy to go on spending sprees and spending thousands of dollars in hours sqaundering life savings on worthless objects in minutes
The thoughts in depression come slowly your movements are slowed down sleeping more or having nightmares in some cases you sleep early in the night and wake early in the morning called early morning awakening and you cannot fall back to sleep Sometimes the desire for sweets is intensified or can be diminished to the point where there is no appetite at all causing drastic weight loss
The Mania or High can cause weight loss but this is due to the constant movement the walking just for the pleasure of moving This can be so bad that there is a huge weight loss and can result in exhaution and burn out
We love our high because of the creativity that comes with it people with Bipolar disorder are often artists musicians writers The creativity can show up in many aspects in life
The Highs bring lack of sleep sometimes for weeks to the point where hospitalization is necessary
There are medications for Bibpolar disorder that works for most of Bipolars but there are some who do not respond to medication and like theor ;oves with Moodswings which is what the Highs and Lows are called are cycles they occur at different times and intensity going from light highs called hypomania to the extreme hypermania and delerium depression to clinical depression Both of these may require hospitalization
There are some who are called Rapid Cyclers they have more than 4 episodes a year These people are rare
Moodswings can be triggered by stress Some Bipolars have only one or two cycles a year some can go for years without episodes

Love to Hate