Love to Hate

　
LOVE TO HATE
Love to hate my highs hate to love my depressions I am an unstable Bipolar A Bipolar is a mental illness called that because of the two drastic differences in moods Moods are the basic overall feelings people have but in Bipolar Mental illness it is exagerated to a point of psychotic thinking
In bipolar disorder our feelings which are governed by chemicals in the brain that control impulses through nerve endings These impules are either too rapidly or too slowly and these cause feelings of happiness and depression
These feelings can be so drastic that you can have suicidal thoughts and actions or so drastically happy to go on spending sprees and spending thousands of dollars in hours sqaundering life savings on worthless objects in minutes
The thoughts in depression come slowly your movements are slowed down sleeping more or having nightmares in some cases you sleep early in the night and wake early in the morning called early morning awakening and you cannot fall back to sleep Sometimes the desire for sweets is intensified or can be diminished to the point where there is no appetite at all causing drastic weight loss
The Mania or High can cause weight loss but this is due to the constant movement the walking just for the pleasure of moving This can be so bad that there is a huge weight loss and can result in exhaution and burn out
We love our high because of the creativity that comes with it people with Bipolar disorder are often artists musicians writers The creativity can show up in many aspects in life
The Highs bring lack of sleep sometimes for weeks to the point where hospitalization is necessary
There are medications for Bibpolar disorder that works for most of Bipolars but there are some who do not respond to medication and like theor ;oves with Moodswings which is what the Highs and Lows are called are cycles they occur at different times and intensity going from light highs called hypomania to the extreme hypermania and delerium depression to clinical depression Both of these may require hospitalization
There are some who are called Rapid Cyclers they have more than 4 episodes a year These people are rare
Moodswings can be triggered by stress Some Bipolars have only one or two cycles a year some can go for years without episodes